Acid Dreams
by Miss Momolo
Summary: Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. Edgar Allan Poe


**A/N: Hi, guys! So I written this because-nah, I needed to write something since I'm in a standstill with the story Unthinkable I don't know what to do. I also written to tell the readers that it might be a while before I update Unthinkable (readers who haven't read the story feel free to do it and give your opinion because I really need direction). For this well, this is a one-shot. Hear Cloud Atlas - Sextet (extended version) it really motivates you. **

The tears felt like acid as they raced down by face. The words felt as tangible as that feeling you get at the top of your stomach when you see _him _after a long time. His eyes traveled like the waves do when they reach the shore, up and down. My heart, oh my _heart!_- it was running and it was stopping- indecisive, like this moment.

As he came closer my pulse quickened and I tried to control my breath. I think, try to find an explanation to why I'm so nervous. When he said my name it felt like the wind paralyzed inside my lungs and a lump started to form in my heart. It felt like a tumor of over joy, it would be a ridiculous act trying to hold my tears in. I believe I will forever stay a fool.

Its grace was infinite and just as I remember when he left fifteen years ago and even though I have not seen him since he is, I think, permanently frozen in time. His stride is just as elegant as he shortened the remainder distance between us.

The sun is finding its bed at the bottom of the earth and it seemed, not so farfetched from the truth, to form any idea that he came in agreement with the fiery sun so as to spotlight his silhouette as he made his return.

It was strange, as I thought in my head, that I took no mind in my appearance. It was no lie that my days as an appealing child had reached its end and although much suspected that I would grow into a beautiful woman I have failed to accomplish anything but. I am less than average, so that I can't even find words to describe myself. Maybe the only reason why I still haven't married. Men want beautiful women. Perhaps being in his presence again reminded me that he wasn't a judging man as most are… possibly because he is no man.

He was close- so close, just a few feet away, his features at a reasonable distance for me to refresh my memory. In three seconds more he would be standing in front of me.

One.

I recalled that I should say something memorable.

Two.

Perchance pronounce his name. I haven't in so long…

Three.

I sighed, his eyes were like heavy rocks weighted on my fragile form as he looked down at me.

I opened my mouth, then thought particularly in what I intended to communicate. A silver of a thought came to mind.

"I,"I said slowly as for him not to miss anything, "hate you."

He looked passive, not affected. It burned my chest more… with longing, with sadness, with hatred. I have not seen him for fifteen years and it hurt that he abandon and betrayed me in this forsaken village but it hurts me more that he's not even affected by this- by my words, by my presence. Who does he think he is? Simply returning as if he left fifteen days ago instead of years?

"I hate you!" I screamed as a surge of pain was revoked in my heart.

Slowly the earth started to shake, the sensation under my feet. Though, oddly, my body wasn't moving with the reaction. When I looked up I saw his face crumpling, turning to dust and slowly disappearing. I only made out the words as they left their lips and he unhurriedly turned to nothing.

As I wake I could still hear his words in my head. "I'm sorry."

I dwell upon crying, that's how I normally vent out my emotions but this time I decided I would be strong. For me.

I sit, trying to assert that I'm in the present and in a way I make any fogginess disappear completely. I breathed in. I couldn't handle how mad I was, how lonely I felt or I disappointed the moment tasted. This is the first time I dream of _him_. I never had even when I was with him in earlier years. The elder say that dreams are visions of the future. I'm not sure I quite believe it. I just see them as unreachable mountains, forsaken places.

I end up telling myself that it was just a dream, that's what it was. I think, for a few seconds, that maybe not just a dream that you find in sleep but things you yearn too. But I don't yearn…. Not anymore. Not_ him_.

I _despise_ him. I live a lonely life of fifteen years that even marriage and kids can't fix.

I lay down in my cot and turned to the side, curling. Curling always made me feel better, it made me feel small. If I could just curl until I disappear. If I could just…

I felt something burn at my face as I realize I was crying. I conclude that I can't even do things for myself. Can't even fight, no less be strong for my sake.

I hear the words again in my head. They play like a symphony. My tears come a little more quickly.

Suddenly I shot up as I hear_ him_, not in my head, nor a dream. In real life, outside. In the small curtain that serves as a door I see a white figure.

I listen again, not trusting myself completely. But then "Rin."


End file.
